hair removal, pedicures and Vietnamese weddings

So I got to Hoi An a couple of days ago on a VERY rainy afternoon. I arrived in my hotel and decided to change into warmer clothes. Come rain or shine, I would tour the city that afternoon. As I got out onto the street I was greeted immediately by two girls on a motorbike who threw 5 different questions at me one after the other: "Hello, excuse me...you are very beautiful. Where are you from?", "when did you get here", "How old are you", "What is your name?" and "Oh...maybe you come to Hoi An to buy clothes ...you come visit my clothes shop?". (I've learnt that one off by heart now cause it's a common approach). So then comes my explanation of how I carry an already overweight 22Kg rucksack and have no room for any clothes. But I get "Oh...you can send home in post office!" hahaha, they're right, and actually I did want to get a traditional Vietnamese dress made and sent home but I decline their offer, among other things, cause I am geting soaked and my jacket, whilst warm, is not waterproof.

So I hit one of the roads leading into the old town and stumble across a lady on a corner, sitting under a beach umbrella, selling drinks and some very welcome plastic raincoats. I buy one for a dollar (well, 15.000 Dong) and think "How lucky to have found her!". Of course, not long after I stumble across 100 such stalls. Anyhow, the raincoat is actually a coloured rubbish bag, to be honest, but it does the trick and keeps some of the water out. I say "some" 'cause now it's really raining cats and dogs and there's nothing I can do about my soaked walking boots and socks...and the water penetrating UPWARDS up my trousers! It had nearly gotten to my knees and I hadn't even reached the town centre. But I was determined. I would eventually find a cafe or something to dry up.

So as I reach the market and stare in disbelief at the life going on there despite the miserable weather, I am greeted by an old lady offering me foot massage. PERFECT! I think. Of course, I am ready for foot massage anytime really but it felt like a good idea to have someone's warm hand hold my cold wet feet! So I tell her I'll be back but first need to get something to eat. I guess she must get that very often because she was very surprised to see me 2 hours later in her booth.

Now, let me explain. I was already wondering where on earth she'd give me foot massage or remove my Mexican Bandido of a moustache in the middle of the market! But curiosity got the best of me and I went. Her stall was No. 4 in the "beauty" section of the market...next to the shoe section. These are actually covered booths...with a window and rails....and a door. They are the size of soft sleeper train compartment, and are made of tin I suppose. The window has no glass (quite common around here) and there is just a flowery curtain keeping onlookers from peering in. So,I start getting my foot masassage by the old lady....and at the same time, my eyebrows trimmed by her daughter Sanh (cause, yeah, my eyebroews also needed some cleaning up). It turns out here they do threading too. A technique I knew from London whereby hair is removed by a sewing thread artfully wrapped around her two hands and moved in a way that it lifts all the hair that comes in it's path. (It's still painful but much better than waxing!).

Anyway, I start sneezing and don't know if it is cause my eyebrows are sensitive or cause I am soaking wet and it's gotten dark and cold. Then she moves on to my Pancho Villa moustache which I hadn't waxed for about 4 months and was nearing braiding length! It hurt...BUT NOW I really have baby skin above my lips. She offers to remove all my facial hair, but I think my look of horror and disbelief was answer enough. Imagine threading my entire face! I'll leave that to the local women. Sanh must've taken pity on me and my drenched clothing because she offered to take me home to my hotel on her motorbike (May I add that I had already promised to return for another dose of painful threading on my bikini line....must I mention I look like a hairy ape!?) As we drive in the darkness, she asks me if I want to come to a friend's wedding with her in 2 days time. Well how many times will I be invited to an authentic Vietnamese celebration in Hoi An? I agreed without much hesitation.

So, I'll spare you the details of the following day's visit for bikini threading. All I'll say is that what began as bikini threading (which took forever thanks to hairy ape here!), ended up in manicure, pedicure and shaved head (much to the shock and disbelief of Sanh cutting away and saying I wanted "same-same as boy" type haircut). So for 28 USD, I had my entire body rid of hair and my nails trimmed. I was gonna look better than the bride at the wedding, at this rate!

Once finished with the hair bit, It was time to get the clothes and shoes arranged. I was taken to her friend the seamstress and her other friend the shoemaker that same afternoon, to measure for my Vietnamese dress and a pair of sandals to match. (This is like The Godfather...it's all kept in the family). I ended up getting a beautiful dark purple velvet dress over creamy trousers. BEAUTIFUL. So after a long walk on the thundery beach this morning, I headed for a fitting of both shoes and dress. Not much of a fitting...It fit perfectly. I was ready and all made up. So I walked out of the shop looking like a new woman....and have never gotten so many compliments on the street in my life! I guess not many foreign women are seen wearing a traditional Vietnamese dress in Hoi An. So there I was....walking past the market...getting smiles from every single Vietnamese woman on the street, and comments of "beautiful" and "same, same as vietnamese lady". The men didn't say much but they also looked. Today I can say that I felt like a top model :-) I got on my friend's motorbike and off we went to the 2 hour dinner celebration over the river.

The account of the wedding will have to come in another installment. But I just got back from the celebration and felt the urge to write about the build up to this event cause ... HOW did I manage to get myself into this one!?!!