Lady-boy

The first time I was served by what appeared to be a man, but dressed as a woman, with lady mannerisms and with boobs, I was intrigued. Where I come from, this is usually an occurrence in a drag show, gay pride festival or in a bachelor(ette) party type restaurant. Here in Thailand, it is as common as getting massage. Amazing Thailand! How can you not love this place!?

In Thailand these boys or men who are "trapped" in a lady's body are woven into the fabric of everyday life and society, which is why you encounter them serving you anything from a Margarita, to the most expensive seafood at a top restaurant. I suppose they abound in Western culture too, but in some underworld I was never too exposed to. The only exception is Mejias, the "cleaning lady" at my old office in Madrid who tried to hit on my brother once, and who would show up in platforms, pseudo-leather mini skirts, and feather boas at 4 PM sharp, only to change into drab blue cleaning outfits that did not disguise the very male body beneath...no matter what amount of mascara and blush he(she) chose to wear that day.

Here, lady boys look, act and feel like women. In fact, I dream of having some of the bodies I've seen them sport. The other night we decided to go to "SIMON"; a lady-boy show here in Chiang Mai. As it turns out, Simon is a chain in Thailand. This spot, in particular, is located side by side with my local supermarket. It has a lavish display of flowers and palm trees at the grand entrance and best of all, a HUGE picture of the King gracing the entrance and visible at least half a mile away. I actually thought the place was like a tropical garden or zoo when I first passed ... royally appointed for that matter. Never farther from the truth!

This show is something else! The auditorium is open air and has not one but three stages; all with elaborate sets ranging from an Egyptian palace, to the deepest African Jungle or a Chinese Pagoda. 60 lady boys dance around, some dressed as women, others as men....but all with stupendous costumes worthy of an Oscar! I couldn't help but laugh because they actually don't sing....they're lip-singing to a karaoke tune...or a well known foreign song, like when they took some Paulina Rubio song in Spanish and turned the stage into a "tablao flamenco". Bizarre. How can I describe these petite asian men wearing male flamenco pants, torero outfits, or better yet, a full blown female dress worthy of Isabel Pantoja? The sound was appallingly bad, which more than being a shame, added to the kitschness fo the affair. I was in stitches, particularly when a plumper and far less attractive, half naked man with fake balloons for boobs, took my friend Sean by the hand and onto the stage. Before Sean had time to react, the lady boy had jumped onto Sean's waist, legs hugging him and red lips leaving kiss marks all over his face! The cast kindly join you in the parking lot for a final farewell, posing as if in a contest to get the best "farang" to pick them for a picture, and abundant requests for tips. This is where I got to see, close up, some of the most amazing lady boy bods in Chiang Mai. As soon as I get copies, I'll post the pics!