Beauty thera...masochism!

There's been a lot of detox - retox - detox - retox going on here. So in my quest to return to a healthy-ish lifestyle, obliterating Happy Hut's "Death By Chocolate" cake come mousse..and the recent habit of consuming innumerable rum&coke's at 3 PM, my friend "X" and I (she wants to remain anonymous) discovered a little Thai spot that claims to return our unshapely legs (well, mine more than hers) to their original baby skin SMOOTH state. This, coupled with my early morning tennis lessons and my above mentioned denials, I thought, should do the trick.

So "X" and I have been slipping out to our little teatment cente in secret...of course when we return with aches and pains in our legs and bruises the morning after, I for one have taken to saying I've fallen off my bike again (not such a rare ocurrence for me). So, seeing as I am confessing my mid-afternoon escapades to you, I will also confess that the treatment involves "X" and I stripping into our sexy undies for a 30 minute laughing spree.... where we basically watch each other's fatty bumps get sucked by a vacuum cup! The best part is that the thai girls who massage our butt while this whole thing takes place, must weigh 30 kilos each at the most, and have never even contemplated getting the treatment themselves. The last time we were there, "X" and I were in tears of laughter after seeing that 1) my suction cup broke off the tube...a sure sign the system couldn't take it any longer and 2) "X"'s cup would not disengage from her butt! I thought she'd be sucked away through the tube into this electric machine wired up beside me! Our laughter was contagious and our thai "masseuses" probably thought we were, well, fat but merry!

ANYWAY....we have 2 teatments to go and we've already lost a couple of inches so we're excited! Seeing as we're trying to be healthy and get integrated into our local community, we decided to join the 6PM aerobics session at our very own local sports centre...VERY local! So we got there, all fired up and ready to shake our bottoms and sweat it all out! The place is open to the Chiang Mai heat so the sweating was inevaitable, although we marvelled at the fact that we were the only two "Farangs" sweating there.... well, plus a Thai lady-boy with a few kilos to spare a rare sight indeed! Behind the raised stage for our aerobics teachers (yeah, you get a group of them all at once, like a variety show), was a HUGE sign advertising KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken)! I don't know if it was subtle hint as in "If you've been to KFC, you know why you're here!" or rather "Come binge at KFC"! Oh well, who cares! The point is we were there and the minute the music began I realised this was gonna be one of those events you remember forever more! I was in my newly acquired sports gear (except for my trekking shoes). The teachers were so slim we could hardly see them in the distance of this massive and rather grey lit gym! The female teacher was surely on some amphetamine overdrive, and she was surrounded by 3 very energetic male teachers, two of whom we were convinced had to be lady-boys cause they loved the hip swirling aerobic moves too much! The music was pretty good stuff...and cranked up at full blast with a double-time-come-chipmunks beat! It took less than 2 minutes to get us laughing, wooing and delivering a pool of sweat like roasting pork! I for one have never been to such a fun and exhausting aerobics session in my life. So much so that I canned my 8 AM tennis lesson this morning! Thanks "X" for making it such a blast and accompanying me in my masochistic exhiliration! We're booked in for the session next Monday. Any takers?