Love & Ego

Well, before I forget, Happy Holiday's to everyone.

The last few days have been a bit sad because many great friends have parted. I now also understand what is meant by the "cool season" here. Our friendships are so close we have even got cuddling friends for our cold beds at night. I feel like I am back in College. Walai House hosts mostly students of the local massage schools, of which I am one again. After much encouragement from a variety of people who have received "Teba's improvised massage", me and my so called "healing hands" have gone back to school. Thank you Sean for this gift. I guess I have known for a while in my heart that the gift of healing through massage is something I enjoyed giving but I have been actively resisting going to school.... I think I realise that deep down I did have a feel for it and that if I confirmed my suspicions, and proved others and myself right, it would be yet another reasons to reconsider my path in life so far.

Well, it is all true. Now I realise the more I have resisted doing something, the more I needed to pay attention to that feeling...the more I needed to listen to my heart and understand the real reason behind it all. My friend Sean and I went on our motorbikes to the beautiful Doi Inthanon National Park last week. As we drove there, with the wind on our face and nothing but green dense forest and a blue sky before us, I realised how free I am and how much opportunity lies ahead of me. I am in such a special place right now...in my heart and in my spirit. Life is full of possibilities. It's time to stop wondering what I am going to do with my life or what my real calling is. I spend so much time doing that that I forget about the gift of today... the "present" and how each moment is a chance to try something new, to jump in the deep end and experiment with anything I can. Life will unveil itself to me....I shan't keep worrying about what'll happen to me tomorrow, because the truth is I haven't got a clue and the mystery is nice that way. I know every corner I turn will bring some new and amazing experience, some new opportunity to meet another soul, to connect with the energy around me, to experience a new adventure, story.... the best is yet to come and the thought of that brings me peace.

I have been training on professional massage for the past 2 weeks. I am enjoying it now. I don't know what will become of it all, but I know I have yet another door open to me. I have made some truly enriching friendships in the past 3 weeks and I feel that to have allowed Mata, Sean, Shawn, Aun, Yo and Jib into my life is the best gift I could have given myself and they could have given me. Thank you.

And so to finish, here's the latest from Sean...my source of inspiration. It was written by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi:

We are not responding to this instant
if we are judging any aspect of it
The ego looks for what to criticise
This always involves comparing with the past
But love looks upon the world peacefully and accepts

The ego searches for shortcomings and weaknesses
Love watches for any sign of strength
it sees how far each one has come
and not how far one has to go

How simple it is to love
and how exhausting it is always to find fault
for every time we see fault
we think something needs to be done about it
Love knows that nothing is ever needed but more love
It is what we all do with our hearts
that affects others most deeply

It is not the movements of our body
or the words within our mind that transmit love.
We love from heart to heart.